I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Randomize
