Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i've created a new STD.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
