i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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