Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
