dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
