We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
