wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
