kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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