i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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