well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
