Your tits are I can't wait for
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize