she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize