i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
zippers are such a cool invention
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize