its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
