He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
