i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
