i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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