You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
