fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Randomize
