Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
