My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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