Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize