WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
