Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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