remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
