Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
me + whiskey = a bad person
Panties = found
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