Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
