All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
