i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
