Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
