no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
