If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Randomize
