Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
