Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
