??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
