yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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