shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
