I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
