So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize