Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
