does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
