Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
