I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
