It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So much rum. So many feels.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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