I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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