what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
