My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
