That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
