WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
