you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
