I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
