i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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