yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
