I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
