There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
