I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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