Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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