just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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